i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I AM VODKA MAN
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
