I wannas sexs uuuuu
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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