I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
