idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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