i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
