I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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