She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
