I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
