I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
