At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If I die, sorry about rent.
Who died my cat blue again?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
