I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i already hear my dad disowning me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
