I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
