You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize