yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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