What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize