I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Jerry, you need to find god
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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