Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
