there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize