Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
