i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's just like the Real World with babies
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
