READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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