This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The power of my boobs compel you
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
