I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There r osticjed everywhere
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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