you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
