I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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