Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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