She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
