I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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