Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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