why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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