She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
