His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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