Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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