i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I want to have your abortion
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
