im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize