Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
where am i from again
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
