Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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