toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
