The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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