i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm too high and old for this...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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