i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
