This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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