Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
