maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
