Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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