If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
