it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
