Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
