All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
