i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
