is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
babies were throwing up all over the place
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
you had me at cake vodka
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
