Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
