Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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