he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My ATM looks so different sober.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
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