just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
How's work?
Spinning.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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