She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
