Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
